Archive for the 'famous funny quotes' Category

Funny Senior Quotes

Recently, I was asked if I was going to fire an employee who made a mistake that cost the company 600,000. No, I replied, I just spent 600,000 training him. Why would I want somebody to hire his experience
~Author : Thomas John Watson Sr Senior Quotes
History has […]

Hilarious Qoutes, Short Funny Quotes, Laugh Sayings

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like? - Jean Cocturan
Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the
priviledge
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand
If your parents never had […]

random funny sayings

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.
~Author : Mae West Inspirational Sayings
People fail forward to success.
~Author : Mary Kay Ash Nice Quotes
Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so […]

Funny Wedding Quotes

“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”
Mark Twain
“Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
German Greer
“There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two […]

hilarious one liners & phrases

Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won’t spoil me.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.
I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
Is somebody not editing what I’m saying here???
Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the […]

hilarious witty sayings

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why are you scared
I used to soar with eagles before I got sucked into a jet engine.
All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen.
It’s hard to […]

Hilarious Sayings for a Shirt

2. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
3. To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
4. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
5. I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
6. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
7. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of […]

funny quotes and cute funny sayings

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. You know […]

famous funny quotes

Q6. If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Q7. As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent. Socrates
Q8. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Q9. Marriage is a great […]

funny work sayings

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
More funny Edgar Bergen quotes
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Conway’s Law: In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on - This person must be fired.
More funny Anonymous quotes
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. […]